The Ultimate Test

The college admissions process can be grueling. Having everything you have done in your adolescence examined to determine your potential for future success is painful to even think about. But what if you attendance in a University was determined with a Testing that rivaled the Hunger Games? In Joelle Charbonneau's The Testing, a group of young adults face the ultimate college admissions process... one that comes down to life or death.

Cia Vale waits to hear if she has been chosen for the Testing, like all graduates. In order to go to University, you must be chosen by the government for the Testing, but no one knows the exact formula for being chosen. Since the Seven Stages war left most of the world a poisonous, charred wasteland, only the students with the most potential are chose for the Testing. And of those, only the best of the best are chosen to move onto University. The government can't waste resources on people who aren't going to find real solutions to their very dangerous problems, like how to grow crops in soil that has been bombed and still contains the poison of those terrifying days. When Cia is chosen for the Testing, she is thrilled, until her father tells her about his own nightmares of the Testing. While the testers wipe your memories of the Testing after they are finished, her father is proof that they can't take everything... even if you wished they had. 

While Cia knows, thanks to her father's warnings, not to trust the other candidates, she can't help but be drawn to Tomas. They clearly have a lot in common, having come from the same colony, but their connection is more than that. As the tests begin, it becomes clear just how far the Testers are willing to go in order to weed out the unsavory candidates. Unfortunately for Cia and the others, their definition of unsavory doesn't exactly follow a moral or ethical code. The tests become more and more dangerous, but the final test is the one that will weed out the most candidates. The final test is the one they might not survive, if they have even survived this long. Cia and Tomas are safer if they work together, but can she trust him?

OK. Let's acknowledge the elephant in the room. If you have read the Hunger Games, you are going to see a LOT of similarities here. Not just the "every dystopia after Hunger Games is going to be compared to Hunger Games even if they have nothing in common" shtick. Nope. This book really is very similar, from the unwillingness to enter the contest/trial, to the kind mentor who guides the leading lady, to the "do I trust, do I not trust" the boy from your home town who was sent with you, to the other murderous, treacherous contestants. But there is the thing. Even with those incredibly obvious similarities and familiarity, this was still a really great story. Sometimes I get bogged down where there is too much "inspired by" going on in a new series, but this one was SO exciting and interesting that I didn't care where Charbonneau got her inspiration. I really, really liked this story a lot. The characters were interesting and surprising, the world is terrifying and mesmerizing at the same time, and the plot was fast-paced and well written. Truthfully? Whether you think you spy a Collins copy cat or not, you won't be able to deny the fact that you like this series just as much as Hunger Games! Truly, don't let the familiarity with the story bog you down. Just let Charbonneau work her magic and you won't be sorry.

This story is appropriate for anyone who read or watched the Hunger Games (sorry, but you can't deny they connection). It is also good for anyone interested in dystopias or post-apocalyptic stories. The content can be gruesome at times, especially if you are truly sensitive to any violence, but I don't think it is too gratuitous to preclude students from reading this series. I am sure there are enough people out there who will be disturbed by the violence and won't want to give this book to their children or students, but I promise you the message behind the violence is strong and anti-violent. This story will be perfect for any reluctant reader, and even though the protagonist is female, I think you will find a lot of male readers clamoring for the sequel once they give this story a shot. So don't let yourself be bogged down by the Panem similarities. Instead, look at this book with a clear mind and an open mind- one that will let you recognize it for the fabulous ride it will take you on. 

A Corner of the Universe for Everyone

Every family has secrets, but some secrets are harder than others to fully understand. In this touching little book, Ann M. Martin, one of my favorite authors of all times, tells the story of one girl, one family, and one universe. In A Corner of the Universe, Hattie's summer of 1960 is one that will change her life forever.

Hattie's parents ran a boarding house. There were many rules for the house, but not as many rules as in her grandmother's proper, sophisticated home. The summer is your typical summer until word comes to Hattie's family that her uncle Adam is coming home. Hattie didn't even know she had an uncle Adam. Significantly younger than her mother and her other uncle, Adam has lived most of his life at a special school. Unfortunately, that school is closing, and Adam's parents have to take care of them until they can find an appropriate place for him to stay.

At first Hattie isn't sure what to expect from Adam. She has heard words like "retarded" and schizophrenic and autistic to describe him, but she isn't sure what all that means. When he finally arrives, though, she is surprised at one thing in particular. When Adam is happy, he is the happiest person on earth. And most of the time, Adam is very happy. Most of the time. Throughout the summer, Hattie spends a lot of time with Adam. He teaches her, she teaches him, and most importantly, she finds a friend in the man her family seems to be ashamed of. What Hattie doesn't know is that there are deeper, darker pieces of Adam's psyche that can't be overcome by ice cream, I Love Lucy, and carnivals. 

I need to first profess my undying love for Ann M. Martin. This is the woman who made me a reader. Right here! And it wasn't because of the Babysitter's Club that I became a reader. It was because of a book she wrote called 10 Kids, No Pets. I read that book so many times, my copy literally fell to pieces. Disintegrated. But I haven't read anything from Martin in decades, so I had really high expectations from this story... and it didn't disappoint. 

Hattie is your typical 12 year old girl growing up in Millerton. That's right! Millerton! Now, don't expect Millerton in 2013 if you are a local, because this is Millerton in 1960, but how cool is it that Martin wrote about our very town?! So exciting! Hattie's grandparents are very wealthy and don't necessarily approve of their daughter's choice in husband (and artist, gasp!), but they deal with it since they moved back to Millerton to raise Hattie and run the boarding house. The monkey wrench of a son like Adam is such a touchy subject with this family that it leaves one word on the tip of your tongue as you read: shame. It is so sad to see this model of shipping off a "damaged" son who ruins your perfect persona, and I think this mindset is one our students would have a difficult time understanding in 2013. That makes this a perfect story to read together, and if possible, a phenomenal story for them to read with a grandparent or older teacher. I am sure this story will provoke questions, so who better than to read it with than someone who lived through this era in history?

Hattie is the true gem of this story, but Adam plays a close second. He is so happy and truly just enjoys all that life has. The dialogue from Adam really paints a picture of this bright young man that makes him all the more endearing. But of course, not everyone will find someone who is so different to be endearing. And that is why I loved Hattie so much. Even as an impressionable young 12 year old, she defends Adam both to strangers who are ready to mock him or call him a freak, but also to his own family who treat him like a stain upon their perfect family. She really was a wonderful kid- one you will love to expose your students to. I absolutely loved this story, and while the subject matter can be heavy at times, I think our middle readers can handle it. In fact, the heavy parts of the story are handled so beautifully, it made me remember just how much I loved Martin's writing. She knows how to use circumstances and inference to guide the reader, not dictate to the reader. So please give this book a chance and remember, it is better to read about tough subjects with your kids and to talk to them about it than to try to shelter them for too long. Kids never stay sheltered for too long. 

Is Delilah Fixable?

Every family has its skeletons in the closet, the elephants in the room, and the secrets that aren't really kept, but Delilah's family is more dysfunctional than most. In Sarah Ockler's Fixing Delilah, we see a family that has never been able to be truly honest... until now.

Delilah's mother drags her away for the summer, but it isn't for some dorky family vacation. Her grandmother, whom she hasn't seen since she was eight, has died, and Delilah's mother and her aunt, both estranged, must pack up the house, make the arrangements, and settle her affairs. Delilah doesn't understand why no one has spoken to each other in years, but her mother refuses to speak about anything to do with her past, even about Delilah's father who died before she was even born. 

Returning to Vermont is emotional for Delilah, who has been getting in a lot of trouble back home, but when she reunites with Patrick, a boy she used to play with when they were kids, she realizes there are more than just bittersweet memories she was forced to leave behind. Having left her boyfriend, Finn, back home, she begins to realize he might not be as great as she once thought he was. Patrick embodies everything she has been missing for all these years. But when they start really getting into the breaking down of her grandmother's house, all those secrets and hushed conversations start coming to the top. Now Delilah's workaholic mother must answer Delilah's questions whether she wants to or not. There are things Delilah deserves to know... even if she won't like the answers once she gets them.

I loved Ockler's Twenty Boy Summer, and while I didn't like this book more than that one, this was still a really great, emotional, character-driven story. There were parts of this story where you say Delilah's grief and her attempts to reconcile her life and her grandmother's death and her family secrets that were so touching and gut-wrenching, I was instantly reminded of Ockler's supreme ability to transform a novel into a true emotional experience. For instance, in the sifting through of the house, everyone had avoided her grandmother's bedroom, so Delilah goes in, she puts on her grandmother's sweater, her necklace, uses her talcum powder, and tries to reconnect with the grandmother she really lost when she was eight. It was only a few pages, but this description was so poignant and bittersweet I was in complete awe of it. I don't know how Ockler does it, but she can describe grief like a master painter can transport you to their landscape. 

This was a great story for any emotional, sensitive young woman. It doesn't have any rampaging action, but the story behind Delilah's family is so raw and emotional, that kind of student who is deeply sensitive will truly love the experience of this book. I have grown to really love Ockler, and look forward to reading more of her books in the future. She knows her characters, and while the stories aren't the most action-packed, the characters are so real, you will feel like you are living life right along side them. 

The True Nature of the Program

One of the worst things imaginable is for a parent to lose their child. The idea of teen suicide becoming an uncontrollable epidemic has to be something we can't even imagine. In Suzanne Young's The Program, we see a world that has done everything to find a way to stop their teens from killing themselves. Unfortunately, the Program might not be as successful as they had hoped. 

Sloane survived her brother Brady's suicide, but only because she had James to help her survive the tragedy. With suicide rates amongst teens out of control, the government has started a few pilot operations of the Program. The Program is meant to monitor teens for any sign of depression or an inclination of wanting to hurt themselves; if spotted, students are then pulled from their schools, entered in the Program, and once they are cured, they are returned to a self-contained school for returners, sans all memories that might have contaminated them in the first place. For Sloane, James and Miller, the Program is the worst kind of abuse, and they would do anything to avoid it... until Miller can't go on living after his girlfriend returns from the Program and doesn't even recognize him. 

James barely survived the loss of Brady, but Miller's choice has sent him over the edge. Unable to get a grip, he is flagged as a potential for the Program. Sloane tries to survive without James as her rock, but she isn't doing so well. When he returns and clearly doesn't remember her, it is too much for Sloane to handle. Her parents become worried about her state of mind, and they choose to do the only thing they think will save their only surviving child: they contact the Program. What they don't know is that the Program has its own demons. Could the very program that is meant to save the world's children be the thing that is driving them to take their own lives?

I wavered back and forth with this book throughout the entire thing. First I was really intrigued, then I was really turned off, and finally I ended up wanting to know where the second book was going to go (but admitting to myself it might have been better without a second book). I knew a book about teenage suicide wasn't going to be sunshine and daisies, but there were parts of this book that were pretty disturbing. In particular, when Sloane was enrolled in the Program. I fully accept that being disturbed as a reader was what Young was going for, but it was almost too much at times. So much that it actually turned me off from the book at one point. I won't give you any spoilers, but I am sure you can figure out what I am talking about when you read it yourself.

For a number of reasons, I find myself struggling to picture the kind of reader I would give this book to. I know it would be a small population, but I still can't think of anyone off the top of my head, in terms of students, who could handle the strange and sometimes highly disturbing subject matter. Don't get me wrong, Young did a good job of handling such delicate subject matter with careful hands, but there were times where I think she almost went too far- farther than she needed to in order to accomplish her goal. I will certainly be reading the second book, but I am not sure I really even liked this book. It absolutely got me thinking and that is the sign of a great book, but then again, you don't necessarily have to LIKE a book to appreciate how much it made you think!

When Death Wants to Die

In the final book of the Riders of the Apocalypse series, Jackie Morse Kessler writes about the final horseman, the Pale Rider... Death. And Death has been having a very difficult time lately. In Breath, he contemplates the most final act he can ever choose- his own death.

Death never gets a day of rest. The job is continuous, exhausting, and there is never a day of relief. As he visits his riders, especially War, his handmaiden and companion, he realizes there is nothing to compel him to keep going with this interminable life. Death is suicidal. Of course, that means if Death goes, the entire world goes along with him. It signals the end of the world, the beginning of the apocalypse. Death is not human, but that doesn't mean he doesn't experience emotions like the people he guides and works with. But there is one piece of unfinished business... a boy and a chocolate bar. 

Xander's biggest worry in life is finally telling Riley he is in love with her. He has been trying to tell her for years, but he can't find a way to get the words out. But when Death arrives on his balcony, he has a lot more to worry about. As the boy who gifted Death with a chocolate bar, he is the young man whom Death owes. But the story is more complex than a simple debt, and when Xander realizes Death's suicidal tendencies, he knows he must do something to stop the end of the world. And sometimes, all people need is someone to really listen to them.

I am not sure how to really express my feelings for this final book in this series. I loved the first and second book. They were raw and gritty and phenomenal. Then came the third book. It wasn't as powerful as the first two, but it was OK. All three had serious situations, the characters had a lot of soul searching to do, and that is what made the books simply amazing. But this book lost the situations and focused solely on the soul searching, and honestly? It got a little old for me. I can't say I disliked the book, but I can definitely say it wasn't my favorite. That doesn't mean it didn't end the series fairly well, but I expected more from Kessler, especially after her first two books were so controversial and REAL.

But still, this isn't a bad series. I think the first two books are the best, but it is important to know this book can't be read without having read the beginning of the series. You just won't understand all the dynamics between Death and the Riders. I love the idea of Death becoming suicidal. It just blows my mind with twists and paradox. How is that possible?? So, there was definitely a redemption out of this story, and if you read the first three books, you simply must read this one too. 

Wracked with Fury

Have you ever hurt someone? Have you ever caused someone pain, whether you meant to or not? Do you think sorry was enough to make up for what you did? You better hope it was or you could be the next victim of punishment in Elizabeth Miles' Fury series. 


Em is Gabby's best friend, but Em can't stop thinking about Gabby's boyfriend Zach. When Gabby goes away for the holidays, she feels guilty about the fact that she is looking forward to spending time with Zach and no Gabby. What she isn't expecting is that he might feel the same way about her. She knows it is wrong, but she can't help the way she feels, right? 


Chase has scraped and climbed his way to the top of the social pyramid with careful execution, but he stil lives in a trailer, a fact that he never forgets. His inspiration was a childhood friend named Sasha whose mother remarried and with the help of her stepfather's money, was flung to the head of the social staircase. But when Sasha throws herself from an overpass and is in a coma in the hospital, Chase struggles with the fact that he may have been involved in her decision to commit suicide.


Both have made mistakes. All their mistakes had reasons and regrets behind them, but they still chose to do what they did. Now things keep going wrong. Chase is haunted by a beautiful girl who he can't stop thinking about. No matter what she does to hurt him or humiliate him, he can't say no to her. When Em starts seeing a similar girl, she feels like she is being stalked. But what they don't know is that the girls following them are much more dangerous than they look...


Fury was an interesting book, but I found myself really confused in the beginning. Actually, I found myself really confused for about 2/3 of the story. I suspected the book was about Furies getting vengeance on bad people and when the couple of kids in the book were doing fairly bad things, I realized my suspicions were right. But I didn't really understand the connection between Em and Chase. It turns out there really wasn't much of a connection other than the fact that they went to school together and kind of knew each other. My other small qualm about this book was their "crimes" for which the Furies were after them. Once you get to the heart of what Chase did, you will agree that the jerk deserves to be punished, but Em's crime, while despicable, isn't exactly death-worthy. I mean, cheating with your best friend's boyfriend is beyond crappy, and you deserve to come back as a dung beetle in a future life, but to die for that? As a teenager (who are notorious for stupid decisions when it comes to hormones and emotions)? It seemed a little harsh. Not sure if I totally agree with that decision on the part of the author. In fact, I might have either had the second story more serious or eliminated it altogether. 


The writing was nice and clear, and the characters were multidimensional, which I appreciate. I loved the fact that the Furies' victims were not just pure evil- they were normal people, not all good, not all bad, who made bad decisions. I think it brought the human quality into the story where you almost felt bad for them by the time the Furies caught up with them, which made you feel confused as a reader because you knew they did crappy stuff. It was a great moral paradox to grapple with as a reader and made the stories less black and white. The way the story ended left me excited to see where the story will go in the next two books and opened the possibilities up tenfold. There is so much Miles can do from here! On a whole, great breakout series and look forward to more from this author.

13 Reasons Why You Should Read This Book

It is hard to write about this book now that I have finished it. I am sad. I am angry. I am blown away by both the premise and the execution of this book. Jay Asher wrote a book that would be hard pressed to find someone it didn't change deeply. I know Thirteen Reasons Why left me a different person. And here are thirteen reasons why you should read this book, and then pass it on...

1. Because when a girl wants to tell you why she committed suicide, everyone should listen. Hannah Baker is gone, but she left behind 13 stories about why she made the decision. She instructed the listeners, who are all mentioned in the tapes, to pass them on to the next person. She warned them that if they didn't, a second set of the tapes, full of their dirty secrets, would become public. And so a group of people, some more guilty than others, but all with a hand in the final outcome, passed their dirty secrets to one another. They needed to hear how they played a part in her decision to commit suicide.

2. Because you never know what the consequences of your actions will be. Not all the stories are as horrible as the others. Sure there are some that will disgust you, but it is the small things that hurt Hannah the most. For instance, a boy she didn't encourage when he came on to her after another boy tried to force himself on her in a diner (she was basically stunned and in shock) proceeded to take all her notes from her bag in Peer Communications. Since the teacher acknowledged it was hard for them to give each other compliments, she made them all bags where they could leave anonymous compliments. Hannah needed those. They were like a lifeline. When she realized it was him who was taking them, it hurt her more than the boy who tried to force himself on her.

3. Because bullying goes farther than the immediate incident. When a "Hot or Not" list placed Hannah in the "Best of" list for a specific body part, it seemed to make boys felt they had a right to objectify her. She wasn't even the real target of the mean-spirited list, but the consequences were long lived.

4. Because even someone with genuine intentions can be too late to change the direction things are going. Clay, the narrator listening to the tapes, really cared about Hannah, but his appearance in her life was too late. She had been hurt by so many boys that Clay seemed too god to be true and Hannah felt too damaged to give him a chance if it meant opening herself up to more pain and suffering.

5. Because there are some really bad people out there. One guy who repeatedly sent Hannah over the edge was known for this kind of behavior. In fact, as Clay listened to the tapes, he knew exactly who Hannah was talking about before she mentioned his name. So why did it take a suicide before this guy was called on his actions? Why didn't someone stop him?

6. Because there are always signs. Teens, or anyone for that matter, don't just kill themselves without warning signs. Change of appearance. Giving away items, especially those they care about or use every day. Saying goodbye. Don't overlook the signs. Don't make excuses for them. You can never be too careful.

7. Because even rumors and verbal bullying hurt. There is a misconception that rumors are just part of human nature. We are social creatures and we like to gossip, that's the justification, right? Well, why do we need to justify hurting someone for entertainment? Bullying isn't always physical. Many times, rumors and gossip are the most painful and the longest lasting, especially with technology today.

8. Because suicide happens, even if we don't hear about it. Many times the news keeps coverage of suicides to a minimum, out of respect for the family left behind. Just because we haven't heard about it, doesn't mean it isn't happening right outside our doors. This isn't a problem contained in after school specials and teen novels. It's real and it's killing our children.

9. Because everyone has a story. Hannah had a lot of them. Clay had his own. Everyone had their stories, and some of them were on the tapes. Hannah wasn't the only victim, she was just the one with a voice. Sometimes people just need their stories to be heard. Listen to Hannah's. She needs you to.

10. Because the best way to stop something like suicide is to talk about it. The more shame and guilt attached to these feelings, the less likely kids are to come forward with them. Opening a dialogue in a safe place is the first step. Is it hard to talk to your kids about suicide? Good. It should be. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

11. Because these characters are real people. Sure they are fictional for this story's purposes, but I'll bet you can think of someone you know who reminds you of Hannah. Someone who you think of every time you read Clay's story. You know a Bryce, a Marcus, and a Justin. So what are you going to do about it?

12. Because it is about time teachers and adults were made uncomfortable when it comes to the emotional lives of our children. We have a ridiculous notion school is just for learning subjects like math and science and history. Wrong. Dead wrong. Our kids are at war from the time they start school until they graduate. It is high time they had some allies in the adults in their lives. We might be uncomfortable getting involved in the emotional lives of children, but if we don't try, how will be help them? Hannah might have been helped had one single adult known what to do to help her.

And finally...
13. Because I need you to read this story. Like with any story such as Thirteen Reasons Why, I need to talk to someone about it! I am sure Clay felt the same way when he listened to Hannah's tapes. When something is that emotional, that painful you want to talk about it. I'm no different. So please, read this story. Yes it has some sexual content (mostly in rumors), and partying (not glorified), and uncomfortable subjects, but that is exactly why every adult and teenager should read this book. And when you do, you won't be the same. But that isn't a bad thing... not by far.

5th Annual Girl Bullying Conference

I had the privilege of attending this year's bullying conference last week. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but when I got there, it was clear these people had some great information and ideas. There are a number of different aspects for bullying, especially girl bullying, or relational aggression as it is called now (I just remember it as torture for most of 6th and 7th grade). You have to consider who is doing the bullying. These days, it isn't a big, scary-looking, mean boy with tattoos who smokes cigarettes as the John Hughes movies would have us believe. Instead, it is the popular girl, the smart girl, the girl who charms adults and knows how to torture her victims without ever raising suspicions. Who is the target? Could be anyone. Anyone who crosses the bully, has something she wants, or just has the pure dumb luck to be in the right place at the right time. The important thing to remember is the victim has done absolutely nothing to deserve this behavior. All too often we here "well, she is a weird girl. No wonder the other girls don't want to sit with her". This is called blaming the victim and is reprehensible on so many levels.

Another problem many schools face is where does the bullying occur? Well, as we all remember, it takes place int he hallways, the locker rooms, the school bus, etc. Barbara Coloroso said at the conference the bathrooms in a school were the single most dangerous place for a victim to enter. They are completely unsupervised space where the bully has total control. But the scarier and even less controlled than the bathrooms is the great land of cyber infinity. With all the social media we have at our fingertips, girls have taken bullying to a level we cannot fathom. If a girl moves because the bullying in her school is so bad, the rumors, lies, and torment only take a few keystrokes to follow her. Kids create Facebook pages about the perceived sexual activities of their targets. They text them. They video the target getting pushed, threatened, attacked, and then post it for everyone to see. This inescapable nature of cyberbullying has created a situation so dire kids are killing themselves. So what can we, as parents, adults, and educators, do about it?

Well, Barbara Coloroso will tell you conflict resolution isn't going to accomplish anything. Bullying isn't a fight, it isn't a conflict, so sitting down the bully and the target won't change a blessed thing. In fact, in this scenario, very often the bully will seem sincere, sorry, and beg forgiveness, while the victim will be angry and confrontational. The moderator may seem perplexed by this aggression and start to blame the victim, but would you want to agree to be friends with your torturer?! She went on to say people like Dr. Phil, who think the bully wouldn't hurt their victim if only they knew the pain they were causing, are so wrong they have left the reservation. Can we really think the bullies don't know the pain they are causing? Not only do they know how much they are hurting their victim, they enjoy it. They get pleasure from the pain. So telling them about the pain they inflict won't help the situation. It might make it worse, but it certainly isn't going to stop it. So what the heck can we do?

Well, first we have to recognize what the bullying has done to separate themselves from the victim enough to cause this pain with complete disregard. They have stopped seeing the victim as a person, and instead they see them as an "it". The victim is subhuman to them. So we must start early to create empathy among our students. They must feel for the people around them, including their victim. Now, I don't pretend to know how to do this, but if you have any suggestions, I am all ears. I have some ideas, of course, but I don't think there is any one formula or tactic that will work for every scenario. This is like a puzzle that can't be done the same way twice.

But the one thing so many presenters at the conference said is we can't be reactionary with bullying... we have to be preventative. How do we make our students care about each other so much they wouldn't bully? How do we create a sense of community where students protect one another instead of hurt one another? Once presenter created a year-long calender that focused on bringing girls together with various projects and community service efforts. They called it Chick Chat. It included some fun chick movies (and some serious ones), bake sales, clothing drives for battered women, and so much more. Each month was a theme like Breast Cancer for October, Family, Friendships, Relationships, etc. Each week there was an activity or meeting and they tried to include outside speakers for every theme. The presenter explained their girls weren't required to come, but bit by bit they trickled in until a community was born.

Punishment is important when bullying occurs, but there needs to be more than just punishment. I remember a student who damaged space in her dorm once, nothing too damaging, but enough to make a lot more work for the women in charge of housekeeping. Why did she do this? She didn't have empathy for them. She assumed it was their job to clean up after her, and their hard work didn't matter to her. The perfect "punishment"/exercise in empathy? Make her work with them for a couple of days, doing the same work they do. I personally think this made more of a difference with that young woman than any detention or suspension ever would have. Perspective is powerful tool.


Barbara Coloroso also write a book called Extraordinary Evil: A Short Walk to Genocide, a book that explains bullying behavior we see so often in schools across the world is very similar to the behavior and aggression the perpetrators of genocide display. They make their victim an "it", thereby negating any need for empathy or caring of their victim's pain. In Rwanda, the Tutsi were called cockroaches. In Germany, the Jews were called rats. Make your victim into something inhuman, and you can justify your actions and absolve your guilt. I have taught a unit about the 1994 Rwandan Genocide to students for a few years now, and the hardest thing I find is to make them truly understand the fear and pain these people experienced. It is so foreign and distant form their own lives, they have trouble imagining it. Sure, they understand genocide is awful, but they don't understand how awful. But every kid understands the reaction they felt to being bullied- the stomach clenching, sweat producing fear of seeing your attacker from a distance knowing what is about to happen. By connecting those emotions to the worst product of human nature, genocide, we can create empathy in our students. I have found this book to be an invaluable tool, and think any history teacher would count this as a valuable tool in their classrooms.

So we have a seemingly insurmountable problem that plagues our children. We have tried everything, and no solution is flawless. But if this conference has taught me anything, it is that our kids are too important to lose to bullying. We need to find a way to create empathy in our children. We need to never blame the victim and be savvy to the ways of the bully, including the charm, manipulation, and deceit they use when the adults are around. And most importantly, we need to create a community where they want to protect one another, not harm one another. It is a tough mountain to scale, but not impossible.

Required Reading for Educators and Parents

YA is a genre designed to give adolescents what they really want to read- book about similar situations and problems they experience every day, or books with characters they can relate to. When writing books for this genre, some authors manage to capture a terrifying part of adolescence all adults wished didn't exist. This happened in Wintergirls, where the story of a girl suffering from an eating disorder was so real and painful, you hurt with her. Julie Ann Peters is an author who doesn't hold anything back, despite the opinions of some that adolescents should be sheltered from such stories. In By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead, Peters delivers a cold, hard smack to the face where teen bullying, depression, and suicide are concerned.

Daelyn has been bullied her whole life- first for being overweight, and now for the neck brace she must wear after one of her multiple attempts to commit suicide and her inability to talk. Her parents don't understand her actions, her teachers are often part of the problem, and she has never had any friends. In fact, any time Daelyn let her guard down enough to try making friends, it has backfired in her face as some clever ruse to humiliate her once again. She goes through the daily motions, but doesn't trust anyone, including her helicopter parents who watch her every move anticipating another suicide attempt.

Then one day, as Daelyn is waiting for her mother to pick her up, she meets a persistent young man who lives and is home-schooled next to her school. She tries to ignore Santana, scare him away, and escape him in any way, but he just keeps coming back. Daelyn knows this must be a way for him to either hurt her or humiliate her, but something about Santana makes her crack the rare smile she has kept hidden for years. What Santana doesn't know, however, is that Daelyn intends one last and final suicide attempt, and this time she has enlisted the support and ideas of a website called Through the Light that helps people commit suicide. She has arranged the date of her final attempt and is now just waiting for the days to count down until she can end her torment once and for all. But can Santana give her something to look forward to? Can that be enough to stop her from taking her own life?

Like Wintergirls, By the Time You Read This is a book that should be given carefully to young adults who are mature enough to digest such heavy material, but should be required reading for parents and educators. We all remembered the bullying that took place when we were young, but do we understand its true magnitude and impact? How do we stop such bullying? How can we know it is happening? At one point in the story, Daelyn is lured into the boy's bathroom and sexually assaulted. The boys spread a rumor she was hiding in there to watch them and she is brought to the principal's office. When she tries to defend herself, she can't manage to tell the school administrators or her parents what really happened, leaving the adults thinking she is just being melodramatic about a silly prank.

This book made me terrified of the ignorance adults have towards the monster bullying has become. We can attend conferences, discuss with other adults ways to stop the bullying or teach students it is wrong, but does it work? Isn't the bullying now worse than it has ever been? How do we really attack it and protect our children from such dire circumstances that they would attempt to take their own lives? I hope books such as this one, while fiction, are an eye-opening smack in the face to all adults about just how dangerous adolescence can be.

Which Day Would You Repeat Over and Over?

There is nothing better than an author with a powerful breakout novel, and that is just what Lauren Oliver delivers with Before I Fall. In the young adult scene, it is difficult to portray real adolescent situations without being too campy or cheesy. Oliver manages to blow the lid off popularity with this bittersweet novel.

The story starts with Samantha Kingston, number two in the most popular foursome at school. It is Cupid Day at school where the most important thing is to get as many roses as possible, proving to the rest of the school just how powerful and loved you really are. The day winds down with a party at Kent McFuller's house- a boy who isn't worth their time until he gives them a place to party. At the party, Juliet Sykes, who the girls refer to as Psycho Sykes, approaches Sam and her friends to tell them just what she thinks of them- that they are horrible people. After the party devolves and they humiliate Juliet, Sam and her friends get into the car to drive home. All of a sudden, a white streak flashes in front of their car, sending it careening into the woods. Sam knows she is dead.

But then she wakes up the next morning, but it isn't tomorrow- she is reliving the same day over and over again. Each morning, Sam wakes up after the same day knowing she has to change things. She tries not going to the party, stopping the horrible events that unfolded, even giving up and doing whatever she wants because she knows the day will just restart. Nothing can fix what happens to her, her friends, or Juliet. But each day she learns a little more about her life, how she treats others, and the things she used to think were important. She even starts to see Kent in a different light.

This was a gripping story that I simply could not put down. I loved how she lived and learned a little bit more from each and every day. I also loved how Sam began to realize just how fragile her entire existence was. Her friends weren't what they seemed, her popularity was more fear than friendships, and her family was basically foreign to her. It is very hard to examine the social hierarchy of high school without crossing a line and stereotyping. The layers of this story allow the social scene to be peeled back slowly so as to avoid any over-critical analysis.

This is an excellent book for high school aged girls. There is some drinking, talk about sex, although more implied than described, and the car crash and suicides that make the content a bit mature. I might give this to a mature middle school student, but I would be very selective as to the type of student I did give it to. The examination of popularity and social hierarchy are very important for girls especially to see a different view of. Give this book a chance and watch for the next Oliver book to grace the shelves!