YA is a genre designed to give adolescents what they really want to read- book about similar situations and problems they experience every day, or books with characters they can relate to. When writing books for this genre, some authors manage to capture a terrifying part of adolescence all adults wished didn't exist. This happened in Wintergirls, where the story of a girl suffering from an eating disorder was so real and painful, you hurt with her. Julie Ann Peters is an author who doesn't hold anything back, despite the opinions of some that adolescents should be sheltered from such stories. In By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead, Peters delivers a cold, hard smack to the face where teen bullying, depression, and suicide are concerned.
Daelyn has been bullied her whole life- first for being overweight, and now for the neck brace she must wear after one of her multiple attempts to commit suicide and her inability to talk. Her parents don't understand her actions, her teachers are often part of the problem, and she has never had any friends. In fact, any time Daelyn let her guard down enough to try making friends, it has backfired in her face as some clever ruse to humiliate her once again. She goes through the daily motions, but doesn't trust anyone, including her helicopter parents who watch her every move anticipating another suicide attempt.
Then one day, as Daelyn is waiting for her mother to pick her up, she meets a persistent young man who lives and is home-schooled next to her school. She tries to ignore Santana, scare him away, and escape him in any way, but he just keeps coming back. Daelyn knows this must be a way for him to either hurt her or humiliate her, but something about Santana makes her crack the rare smile she has kept hidden for years. What Santana doesn't know, however, is that Daelyn intends one last and final suicide attempt, and this time she has enlisted the support and ideas of a website called Through the Light that helps people commit suicide. She has arranged the date of her final attempt and is now just waiting for the days to count down until she can end her torment once and for all. But can Santana give her something to look forward to? Can that be enough to stop her from taking her own life?
Like Wintergirls, By the Time You Read This is a book that should be given carefully to young adults who are mature enough to digest such heavy material, but should be required reading for parents and educators. We all remembered the bullying that took place when we were young, but do we understand its true magnitude and impact? How do we stop such bullying? How can we know it is happening? At one point in the story, Daelyn is lured into the boy's bathroom and sexually assaulted. The boys spread a rumor she was hiding in there to watch them and she is brought to the principal's office. When she tries to defend herself, she can't manage to tell the school administrators or her parents what really happened, leaving the adults thinking she is just being melodramatic about a silly prank.
This book made me terrified of the ignorance adults have towards the monster bullying has become. We can attend conferences, discuss with other adults ways to stop the bullying or teach students it is wrong, but does it work? Isn't the bullying now worse than it has ever been? How do we really attack it and protect our children from such dire circumstances that they would attempt to take their own lives? I hope books such as this one, while fiction, are an eye-opening smack in the face to all adults about just how dangerous adolescence can be.
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