When Death Wants to Die

In the final book of the Riders of the Apocalypse series, Jackie Morse Kessler writes about the final horseman, the Pale Rider... Death. And Death has been having a very difficult time lately. In Breath, he contemplates the most final act he can ever choose- his own death.

Death never gets a day of rest. The job is continuous, exhausting, and there is never a day of relief. As he visits his riders, especially War, his handmaiden and companion, he realizes there is nothing to compel him to keep going with this interminable life. Death is suicidal. Of course, that means if Death goes, the entire world goes along with him. It signals the end of the world, the beginning of the apocalypse. Death is not human, but that doesn't mean he doesn't experience emotions like the people he guides and works with. But there is one piece of unfinished business... a boy and a chocolate bar. 

Xander's biggest worry in life is finally telling Riley he is in love with her. He has been trying to tell her for years, but he can't find a way to get the words out. But when Death arrives on his balcony, he has a lot more to worry about. As the boy who gifted Death with a chocolate bar, he is the young man whom Death owes. But the story is more complex than a simple debt, and when Xander realizes Death's suicidal tendencies, he knows he must do something to stop the end of the world. And sometimes, all people need is someone to really listen to them.

I am not sure how to really express my feelings for this final book in this series. I loved the first and second book. They were raw and gritty and phenomenal. Then came the third book. It wasn't as powerful as the first two, but it was OK. All three had serious situations, the characters had a lot of soul searching to do, and that is what made the books simply amazing. But this book lost the situations and focused solely on the soul searching, and honestly? It got a little old for me. I can't say I disliked the book, but I can definitely say it wasn't my favorite. That doesn't mean it didn't end the series fairly well, but I expected more from Kessler, especially after her first two books were so controversial and REAL.

But still, this isn't a bad series. I think the first two books are the best, but it is important to know this book can't be read without having read the beginning of the series. You just won't understand all the dynamics between Death and the Riders. I love the idea of Death becoming suicidal. It just blows my mind with twists and paradox. How is that possible?? So, there was definitely a redemption out of this story, and if you read the first three books, you simply must read this one too. 

The Series Has Lost a Little Something

The Riders of the Apocalypse are supernatural, Biblical, something otherworldly that we can't quite wrap our heads around. But what if they weren't. The Riders have to come from somewhere. What if they were ordinary teens, suffering everything we suffered as teens, who are chosen to bear the burdens of famine, pestilence, war, and death. In Jackie Morse Kessler's Loss, we see an ordinary bullied boy rise up to become the White Rider... even if he doesn't want to.

Billy Ballard is your typical bullied kid. He sinks into himself, takes the blows, and waits it out. It is all about survival. Fighting back just makes it harder. At home, things aren't much better. His grandfather is battling Alzheimer's and Billy and his mother have to take care of him, even when the caregiving can be brutal and totally unappreciated by a man losing his mind. The only glimmer of hopefulness in Billy's life is a beautiful girl who actually notices him. Unfortunately, the only other ones who notice him are the bullies.

Billy has recurring nightmares of an Ice Cream Man who made him make a deal when he was young. When Death, the Pale Rider, comes to Billy and tells him he must substitute for the White Rider, Pestilence. Billy has no idea what he is talking about until he realizes Pestilence was the Ice Cream Man who tricked a young child into agreeing to be the White Rider when the time came. Billy is reluctant to do such a job, so Death tells him he can bring back the original White Rider if he doesn't want the new position. But how do you bring back a Rider of the Apocalypse who doesn't want to be found? Well, it isn't easy!

I have to say I LOVED the first two books in this series. They were creepy and honest and got to the heart of true teen afflictions with an candor I appreciated. But this one faltered for me. I understand Kessler wanted to stray from the formulaic "tormented teen becomes Rider, likes it at first, gets a little excited, then wants to give it up" story from the first two books. But in doing so, she created this strange "Billy chases King Midas" story that got too rambly and confusing for me. In fact, the thing I loved most about the first two books was how much I had invested in the main characters- the kids being called to be the Riders. They were flawed, damaged, and becoming Riders gave them a sense of power they had never had in their lives. And then they realized that too much power was even worse than what they had before. I loved those kids, damage and all. And sadly, this book didn't give me a chance to love Billy. Instead he was "chasing" Pestilence's soul through the "White" or whatever its oblivion state was, tinged with horrible memories written in a stream of consciousness. It wasn't badly written, but I just didn't like it as much as I loved the edgy situations in the first books.

What I did love, however, was the Author's Note at the end of the story where Kessler tells her own tales of bullying, and you won't believe what side she was on (or maybe you will now that I have made you think about it). She talks about the evolution of this story and the use of Alzheimer's on a very personal level. Thanks to this Author's Note, I felt very different about this story than I did at the end of the actual story. I only wish I had those feelings throughout the entire story, not just in the afterword. So I think this story faltered a bit from the edgy start of the series, but it still has its merits. The concept of a bully finally having an outlet to get back at their bullies is something every bullied kid thinks about. I would encourage any junior to high school student to check this series out as it deals with very real teen issues in a surprisingly interesting fictional way.

Rage Against Preconceived Notions

Rarely do we read a book so raw with emotions that it leaves you speechless by the time you read the last page. Jackie Morse Kessler accomplishes this effortlessly. She knows how to bring a reader into the most painful lives of teens who are suffering from eating disorders, bullying, cutting, etc. With her second book in the Horsemen of the Apocalypse series, Rage, she has a cutter who has been bullied to the brink of sanity, become War, the Rider of the Red Horse.

Missy slept with Adam and he saw her for who she was- a cutter. He immediately dumped her and told everyone about her scars. Now she is tormented even worse than before. Now they all call her Cutterslut and other horrible names. Missy's only means of control over her own life is to cut. She can't control the pain she feels every day at home and at school, but she can control the blade. When Adam invites her to a party, Missy reluctantly agrees to go, but she goes to show them all they don't bother her. When Adam is uncharacteristically kind and kisses her, she forgets all her anger and pain. She follows him upstairs and takes off her clothes for him. Just as she does, he calls for everyone to come in. It is then, in a flurry of cell phones and cameras, that Missy's life changes forever. With her secret out and her picture and video all over the web, she chooses to accept Death's offer to become War... and her first stop is the party.

As War, Missy creates havoc in the party, making everyone's aggression and anger seethe to the top. When she leaves, she is conflicted about what she has done and what she might have done if Adam had been there. She starts to go out into her world to do the job of War, but she sees her destruction doesn't just hurt adult soldiers- there are innocent women and children there too. She fights the will of War, but Famine and Death explain the balance to her. When there is no balance, like when Pestilence took some time off, the result can be like the Black Death- centuries of consequences. When she returns to school and feels the consequences of her own bullies, she is torn between wanting to punish everyone in the building to knowing there are innocent people who don't deserve to suffer her wrath. But can Missy keep War until control in order to restore the balance?

This is a very dark and important story. When we consider bullicide (suicide as a result of severe bullying) and school violence like Columbine, it is vital that we look at the emotions of the victim. The pain, the humiliation, and the rage they feel is overwhelming. The result is often violence, either towards themselves or others. While critics attacked this book for being "too violent" and "too graphic" about a cutter, I would like to know why they don't acknowledge the bullying. If they are so worried about the cutting, perhaps an honest conversation about the impetus for the cutting is where prevention should start. Yes, this was a dark book, but it is impossible to write a book about such vicious bullying without it being real, raw, emotional, and dark.

I am bowled over by these books, but I will admit they might be too much for a more sensitive young adult. As parents and teachers, we know the type of student who can handle a series like this one. The beauty of this author is she doesn't take prisoners. She doesn't hold back or "write in code" to protect delicate sensibilities. She lays it on the line. And if you don't like it, then perhaps you should do something about stopping the behaviors that cause this kind of situation. perhaps it is time to do something about the bullies in order to save the victims.

A New Definition to the Word "Starvation"

After that blasted Wall Street Journal article, I was still left bristling at its attack on Young Adult literature. Then I went back to the article and realized I (like a young adult told I couldn't/shouldn't read a particular book) wanted to read the books she said were so harmful. I had already read a bunch of them, but there were a couple I hadn't gotten to. One was Jackie Morse Kessler's Rage from her Horsemen of the Apocalypse series. But first, I needed to read Hunger, the first in the series. So thank you, Wall Street Journal, for making some very good reading suggestions, whether you meant to or not!

Lisabeth is anorexic and she's good at it. Her parents are too wrapped up in their own lives and miseries to notice how thin she has become. Her boyfriend notices something is up, and her best friend confronts her about it, but Lisa just cuts Suzanne out of her life. Tammy has become Lisa's best friend, because she understands the need for control. Tammy is bulimic. Together, they count calories, binge, purge, control, and keep hearing that voice: the Thin voice. The voice that tells them they are too fat. They need to lose more weight.

When Lisa is visited by death just before she ends her own life with a handful of her mother's pills, she is offered a compromise. If she chooses to become Famine, a Horseman of the Apocalypse, he won't take her. When Lisa wakes up the next day, she thinks it was all just a weird dream, and she goes about her life, counting calories, hiding her eating habits, and making excuses to the people in her life about her body. That night, however, there is a black horse waiting for her, and Death is back to encourage her to ride and do her job. She follows orders, but she doesn't know what is in store for her. At first, the spread of Famine is almost cathartic- a way for her to make others suffer the way she suffers every day (like spreading Famine through a rich, calorie-laden restaurant full of gluttons), but then she sees the unforeseen consequences of her actions: a little girl trampled in the panic and anger caused by hunger.

After a horrific incident with her mother, she realizes she can not only cause Famine, she can also take it away and restore people. She then decides to go out and do just that: stop Famine's torture around the world. She starts small, with a young boy starving, but then she goes bigger, ending the starvation of an entire village. This catches the immediate attention of War, a huge, scary woman who has no qualms about taking care of the mousy Famine. But Lisa has realized she isn't ready to die. She certainly isn't ready to let herself starve when there are too many people in the world who would do anything for a full stomach.

When I first read the description of this book, I thought it was ironic and not just a little morbid to make the new Famine from an anorexic girl- who better to know and love hunger than a girl who lives in a perpetual state of hunger on purpose? But the beauty of the story is that by seeing hunger- real, uncontrollable hunger- Lisa knows she needs help. She learns from the hunger of others and sees how her eating disorder is killing her. The lesson is handled well, and it isn't preachy or heavy handed, which is good because teens can smell a moral lesson from a mile away! The most special part of this story was the Author's Note at the end, where the author shared her inspiration for Lisa- a former friend who was bulimic, started Kessler's bulimia, and eventually died from her eating disorder. It is here that Kessler encourages girls who are suffering from eating disorders to use this book as a stepping stone to get help, that they are not alone in the world.

While the story clearly deals with heavy content material, from eating disorders to the Horsemen, but it isn't done with any gratuitous violence or carnage. Instead, the graphic descriptions of Lisa's anorexia and Tammy's bulimia are done with the ability to make you want to help someone who is experiencing this scary disease, not become sick yourself, as some critics of this short novel might want you to think. A story like this doesn't make kids bulimic, it gives hope to friends, family and the sick kids themselves. I wish eating disorders weren't so common, but can any of us say we don't know someone with an eating disorder or who has recovered? This is a relevant story that will leave you reeling from its implications, and applauding Kessler for having the courage to write it.